My son turned 4 years old this past weekend. 4 years old. He's 40 1/2" tall and turning into quite a young man. We celebrated with chocolate cupcakes and presents at the kitchen table, in a 1 bedroom apartment.
December 7th we closed on the sale of our Downers Grove house. The second of 2 house fires my family has lived through. We have moved into a 1 bedroom apartment for a 6 month short lease so my daughter could walk home from school as we work to finally finish the Westmont house that was on fire 5 years ago this March. (I'll let you do the math.)
We are still trying to get the building permit back. We are trying to keep our heads above water as we pay bills, childcare, swim team, and race registrations. (at least 2 need to be paid for this month before the price increase. I already missed one discount.) Life is filled with enough stress as I ask Santa to show my kids there is hope and love still in their lives this Christmas.
Christmas, a time to enjoy simple pleasures of family as the television and electronics show what my kids really want this holiday. But my son is happy knowing he will not be forgotten this year He is not expecting a lot since we are in a small apartment that doesn't even have a tree in it. I tried to explain Santa understands that we don't have a lot of room for new stuff right now. He won't forget him, and next year he will make up for any short sightings.
This year we are also spending Christmas with many loved ones. We will go to family on Christmas morning, but Christmas Eve we are starting a new tradition. We are going to be with friends. People we choose to be family. This is a first. When my husband and I first married, we had planned to stay home for more holidays when we had kids. My daughter was in Kindergarten when our first home was on fire. Just 6 years old. The next Christmas we were living with my in-laws, with a newborn. After all this moving, this year we were invited to a new tradition and we excepted.
So far, my side has excepted this change. But my husband's side, the ones we live closest to, has one person questioning "Why?" Obviously, not the one who does all the cleaning and cooking for the Holiday meal. We have already taken the big meal off her plate and promised to make it next year.
As I look at my December, I can't help but see all of the stress that fills it. As for my family, I will put on my Christmas sweater and smile, because our journey is getting closer to home.
Wednesday, December 16, 2015
Monday, November 9, 2015
We are Homeless Again
11/9/15
Only 3 more weeks and we will be homeless. I don't know where we are going to live. I don't know where we are going to put all of our stuff.
Only 1 month ago, we put our current residence up for sale. It was a Thursday. My husband was leaving the next evening to take our kids to my folks for youth deer season. He started to hesitate, to back out, to come up with reasons to stay home and fix things. I immediately said, "No."
We worked very hard to clear the house for pictures to be posted on line. It went active that day. We already had a couple of walk-throughs scheduled for Saturday. We were not going to be home anyway. And I didn't need to keep picking up after everyone every 5 minutes. So they left me behind.
I spent the first night up late, clearing the things we just moved out of the pictures. (I was up until 1:30 am.) Saturday morning, I went for a long bike ride with my cycling group. I spent the afternoon helping my daughter's swim team. Then, I came home to a nice dinner, went running, and watched a non-kid friendly movie as I sorted through DVD's.
There was still another walk-through scheduled for Sunday. I spent the morning cycling again. Then, I spent the early afternoon swimming. Evening was a nice run again. The freedom was nice.
Monday we got the call. There were 5 walk-throughs on Saturday. 3 made offers. The last one was $100 over what we listed at. Sold.
I appreciate that I don't have to keep the house immaculate anymore. I appreciate that we will finally have the money to finish rebuilding our first home. Currently known as my son's house. (He'll be 4 next month.) But, we need a place to stay short term, 3-4 months. We are not moving back in with my in-laws. There will be a crime investigation. We can't afford that.
It has been a long journey since our first house fire, March 31st, 2011. And it's not over.
Only 3 more weeks and we will be homeless. I don't know where we are going to live. I don't know where we are going to put all of our stuff.
Only 1 month ago, we put our current residence up for sale. It was a Thursday. My husband was leaving the next evening to take our kids to my folks for youth deer season. He started to hesitate, to back out, to come up with reasons to stay home and fix things. I immediately said, "No."
We worked very hard to clear the house for pictures to be posted on line. It went active that day. We already had a couple of walk-throughs scheduled for Saturday. We were not going to be home anyway. And I didn't need to keep picking up after everyone every 5 minutes. So they left me behind.
I spent the first night up late, clearing the things we just moved out of the pictures. (I was up until 1:30 am.) Saturday morning, I went for a long bike ride with my cycling group. I spent the afternoon helping my daughter's swim team. Then, I came home to a nice dinner, went running, and watched a non-kid friendly movie as I sorted through DVD's.
There was still another walk-through scheduled for Sunday. I spent the morning cycling again. Then, I spent the early afternoon swimming. Evening was a nice run again. The freedom was nice.
Monday we got the call. There were 5 walk-throughs on Saturday. 3 made offers. The last one was $100 over what we listed at. Sold.
I appreciate that I don't have to keep the house immaculate anymore. I appreciate that we will finally have the money to finish rebuilding our first home. Currently known as my son's house. (He'll be 4 next month.) But, we need a place to stay short term, 3-4 months. We are not moving back in with my in-laws. There will be a crime investigation. We can't afford that.
It has been a long journey since our first house fire, March 31st, 2011. And it's not over.
Tuesday, September 22, 2015
Life without Technology
Three and a half years ago, my life included cable television and internet access at home. I included a couple of on-line classes in my studies to earn my advanced accounting certificate (I already had my college degree). And I had both my cell phone and landline with fax/copier/scanner hooked up.
Then, we moved in with my in-laws and have not had internet or cable again. Eventually we did get a usb stick to have internet, but limited minutes. And then my daughter got her Ipad, and we used the free wifi at coffee shops and local library.
Technology is a part of our lives, and understanding it can make life much easier. But relying on it can make life rough also.
For the past several months, my smart phone has been my connection to many things. Internet and emails (updates on field conditions and weather), Facebook (where I was kept up to date on my cousin's recovery from falling off a 15 foot cliff), communications in general via text or phone calls. It was my camera, instantly uploading pictures to my Google account. It was the entertainment for my 2 1/2 year old who got a little anxious half way through his sister's swim team practices. We used it for research, since no one really uses encyclopedias anymore. (I don't think my daughter fully understands why the boy detective is called Encyclopedia Brown.)
This weekend, I spent 5 days without my cell phone. No means to communicate with my team of U10 Softball players. Hoping we had enough to play our tournament game (we had 7). Fortunately, my husband had his phone. We used it to pull up the email I sent out 3 months ago with our league rules stating we only need 7 players to not forfeit the game.
I do not take my phone with me everywhere I go. It doesn't track my workouts (although it is in my back bag in case I get stranded), I leave it in the car during softball practice, and unless my son needs distraction to get through those last 30 minutes of practice it is not our television. Technology is available for so many things, but there is something it cannot do. It can not live our lives.
Then, we moved in with my in-laws and have not had internet or cable again. Eventually we did get a usb stick to have internet, but limited minutes. And then my daughter got her Ipad, and we used the free wifi at coffee shops and local library.
Technology is a part of our lives, and understanding it can make life much easier. But relying on it can make life rough also.
For the past several months, my smart phone has been my connection to many things. Internet and emails (updates on field conditions and weather), Facebook (where I was kept up to date on my cousin's recovery from falling off a 15 foot cliff), communications in general via text or phone calls. It was my camera, instantly uploading pictures to my Google account. It was the entertainment for my 2 1/2 year old who got a little anxious half way through his sister's swim team practices. We used it for research, since no one really uses encyclopedias anymore. (I don't think my daughter fully understands why the boy detective is called Encyclopedia Brown.)
This weekend, I spent 5 days without my cell phone. No means to communicate with my team of U10 Softball players. Hoping we had enough to play our tournament game (we had 7). Fortunately, my husband had his phone. We used it to pull up the email I sent out 3 months ago with our league rules stating we only need 7 players to not forfeit the game.
I do not take my phone with me everywhere I go. It doesn't track my workouts (although it is in my back bag in case I get stranded), I leave it in the car during softball practice, and unless my son needs distraction to get through those last 30 minutes of practice it is not our television. Technology is available for so many things, but there is something it cannot do. It can not live our lives.
I am a Volunteer
My name is Brenda. I am a wife and a mother of 2, I work full time, I am a triathlete, and I volunteer.
You may look at my schedule and ask "Why volunteer? Why not let someone else do it who isn't as busy as you." That is the exact thing my Father-in-Law said just 2 years ago.
At the time, my house had been on fire Thursday morning, taking with it 80% of my clothes, my place to sleep, all of my food, the things I relied on to get through my day that were in my house, as well as my dog. Everything I could salvage to be washed in clothing (nothing spandex nor dry-clean), same for my family, I took with us to get by with as we stayed at my in-laws until we could be relocated to temporary housing. (We needed my mother-in-laws washer and dryer, or we would have stayed in a hotel.) The next night, I was a volunteer for my daughter's first Swim Meet.
Okay, so they fed me a really nice dinner. I didn't know that when I signed up. I didn't know that when I showed up either. On a Friday evening, I sat at the desk to make sure the clocks reset for each race. Not difficult. But I'm not done.
The next morning, when my daughter actually swam, I brought homemade blueberry muffins for the Coaches/Officials' Breakfast Table. (I did mention I lost all of my food in the fire, right?) I woke up at 3 am, had to run to a 24 hour grocery store for ingredients and used my Mother-in-law's only muffin tin (it made 8 at a time) to bake 24 muffins. This covered my entry to watch her race. (When my husband showed up with the last batch, it covered his entry as well.) As the meet progressed, they needed timers. I stepped up. I got to see my daughter race from the pool deck, instead of from the hot stands. But I also missed seeing her race too. That's okay. I was busy cheering for the kid in my lane.
I covered several shifts volunteering for this first meet. My Father-in-law told me I should let someone else do it, I have more important things to worry about. A house fire is very important. But so is taking care of my family. My husband, his son, told him "She volunteers because it opens up opportunities for her daughter." He didn't like it.
I am a mother of 2. I will also volunteer for my son's activities. I will again coach soccer, tee ball, what ever he needs me for so he and his teammates can play.
I work full time. After the birth of my son and our first house fire almost 5 years ago now, I had to go back to work. I don't have free time to do whatever I want, so I prioritize.
I am a triathlete. I don't get to train as much as I would like to, but I do train. And I race. I have signed my husband up to volunteer. He enjoys the free tee shirt and chance to see me on the course. My Daughter also races triathlons, and I volunteer for her races as well. Racing you see how much depends on volunteers. From the person holding out a cup of water to the lone person sitting in a chair pointing to keep you on course and cheering for me. Volunteers are needed. I thank them.
And I am a volunteer. I step up because others don't. Trust me, I never played soccer before, but I coached my daughters 3 year olds' team at the Y. I learned. And I will continue to step up when ever I see an opportunity to help. If you ever talk to someone running an event that depends on Volunteers, you will never be turned away. The greatest reward is knowing you make the event possible for someone else.
You may look at my schedule and ask "Why volunteer? Why not let someone else do it who isn't as busy as you." That is the exact thing my Father-in-Law said just 2 years ago.
At the time, my house had been on fire Thursday morning, taking with it 80% of my clothes, my place to sleep, all of my food, the things I relied on to get through my day that were in my house, as well as my dog. Everything I could salvage to be washed in clothing (nothing spandex nor dry-clean), same for my family, I took with us to get by with as we stayed at my in-laws until we could be relocated to temporary housing. (We needed my mother-in-laws washer and dryer, or we would have stayed in a hotel.) The next night, I was a volunteer for my daughter's first Swim Meet.
Okay, so they fed me a really nice dinner. I didn't know that when I signed up. I didn't know that when I showed up either. On a Friday evening, I sat at the desk to make sure the clocks reset for each race. Not difficult. But I'm not done.
The next morning, when my daughter actually swam, I brought homemade blueberry muffins for the Coaches/Officials' Breakfast Table. (I did mention I lost all of my food in the fire, right?) I woke up at 3 am, had to run to a 24 hour grocery store for ingredients and used my Mother-in-law's only muffin tin (it made 8 at a time) to bake 24 muffins. This covered my entry to watch her race. (When my husband showed up with the last batch, it covered his entry as well.) As the meet progressed, they needed timers. I stepped up. I got to see my daughter race from the pool deck, instead of from the hot stands. But I also missed seeing her race too. That's okay. I was busy cheering for the kid in my lane.
I covered several shifts volunteering for this first meet. My Father-in-law told me I should let someone else do it, I have more important things to worry about. A house fire is very important. But so is taking care of my family. My husband, his son, told him "She volunteers because it opens up opportunities for her daughter." He didn't like it.
I am a mother of 2. I will also volunteer for my son's activities. I will again coach soccer, tee ball, what ever he needs me for so he and his teammates can play.
I work full time. After the birth of my son and our first house fire almost 5 years ago now, I had to go back to work. I don't have free time to do whatever I want, so I prioritize.
I am a triathlete. I don't get to train as much as I would like to, but I do train. And I race. I have signed my husband up to volunteer. He enjoys the free tee shirt and chance to see me on the course. My Daughter also races triathlons, and I volunteer for her races as well. Racing you see how much depends on volunteers. From the person holding out a cup of water to the lone person sitting in a chair pointing to keep you on course and cheering for me. Volunteers are needed. I thank them.
And I am a volunteer. I step up because others don't. Trust me, I never played soccer before, but I coached my daughters 3 year olds' team at the Y. I learned. And I will continue to step up when ever I see an opportunity to help. If you ever talk to someone running an event that depends on Volunteers, you will never be turned away. The greatest reward is knowing you make the event possible for someone else.
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