Another Caregiver Gives Up On My Son

Being in a financial situation where, as a mother, I do not have a choice but to return to working 40 hours a week, I have had to make the difficult decision to put my youngest child into the care of others, with the hope that after I pay that person at the end of the week, I still have enough left over to pay the bills and treat my kids to the occasional ice cream cone.

However, since returning to work 15 months ago, I have gone through 3 regular caregivers, and appreciated the occasional emergency back-up temporary care giving of 2 friends and the assistance of working in-laws who took my son with them to their company to watch until I found someone else.

This last time, I started looking for replacement/alternative resources 3 weeks ago when my son would cling to me with eyes overflowing with tears when I would drop him off.  My heart was broken, especially after watching this person’s son hit my son in the face.  If I could afford high quality care with high tech facilities, I would have sent my son there.  Or, I would find a way to stay home, like I did for my daughter.

Mothers often have to make tough decisions when it comes to raising their children.  Sometimes those decisions come back to haunt us, even if we don’t see any alternative solution.  This is one of mine.   But we can’t change our past.  We can only learn the lesson and hope someone else finds a better way.

I received an email from this caregiver last night.  She has asked me to find someone else to watch my son.  In her words, her son “has become more aggressive than usual, and (my son) has become aggressive back (to her son).”  She also is having a difficult time communicating with my son since he does not talk and occasionally wants to just play by himself.  My son is behind in his speech, but understands perfectly when you talk to him.  He has proven this multiple times, even with the occasional “selective hearing.”

When I saw my son last night, he had scratches on his face, including a deep one that removed skin.  I wonder if in time my son can forgive me for leaving him with this person.